I apologize to my readers for the couple of week's hiatus from posting to these pages. I didn't want to spread my Bah Humbug attitude to the holidays in fear that I might actually ruin someone else's Christmas spirits. Actually, and more truthfully, I've had a couple of weeks of much needed vacation and took full advantage of the break. My last weekend of business was so screwy that I'm not sure I can even relate it. If you remember, I had four events scheduled for one day: two high school state championship football games, a mens basketball game and a Coffehouse Concert all on the campus of Liberty University. The first of the disasterous happenings was that at 7PM on Friday night, I found out that the Coffeehouse was rescheduled and started at 11PM that night. Thankfully, Tank and Laura were available and we all ran to LU to get ready. That turned out to be the only decent thing that happened that weekend. It was a good night, getting home at 2:30AM, only I had to be back at LU by 7AM to move Big Red from the Vines Center to the football stadium and set up for the football games. The last time I did the state championship football games, it was huge and we expected to do the same this year. Wrong. It was a dog, the worst two football games I've ever done. And the sad part, the second game ran so late that there was no way I could move Big Red back to the Vines Center for the basketball game, so I had to cancel out on that one. All in all, a terrible weekend. That started my annual Bah Humbug attitude that carries me thru the holidays. In case you are wondering, I think Christmas should be somewhere near the 4th of July when I'm in the middle of my season and have the money to do the holidays like I'd like to do.  Not in December when I stay flat broke most of the time. With some time off, I made a trip to Louisville to spend some time with Jason, Nancy and the kids, and to take Nancy out to dinner for her birthday (about a month late) and to take Jason out to dinner for his birthday (about a month early). And, to work on my grandfatherly spoiling of the grandkids, Grant and Katie. I'm really good at that. After spending a couple days at the farm, I went to Peggy's for the holiday and played Santa for Kagen.

The highlight of my Christmas came via Sis's daughter in law Anna. I thought it one of the funniest things I've ever read so I must plagerize a bit and relate it to you: "I've been in a state of domestic bliss these past few days. Baking, baking, baking.

Thought I'd share my favorite recipe.                        

Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

• 1 cup water 1tsp baking soda
• 1 cup sugar 
• 1 tsp salt 
• 1 cup brown sugar 
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup nuts
• 2 cups dried fruit
• 1 bottle of Jose Cuervo Tequila

Directions: Sample the Cuervo to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo again to be sure of its quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to make sure the Curevo is still OK so try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor. Mix on the turner. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Curevo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who gives a s**t. Check the Curevo again. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink, whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Jose Curevo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher. Cherry Mistmas."

Hopefully, the Big Red Crew will be at Liberty for Winterfest over the New Years weekend. While things aren't definite yet, I'll keep you posted on Twitter and Facebook as things develop over the next couple of days. And, a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year to all of my friends, family and readers.

A couple of times each week, I check in with Google Analytics, a nifty service that tells me if anyone actually reads these pages. Recently, my readership is up almost 250%, something I find shocking. Why would anyone check in with Big Red?

 I have three friends, and one of them cares about what I'm doing.  And, there are two cousins that follow me, only if to point out to folks that, "He is from THAT side of the family."

 Admittedly, a couple of weeks ago I mentioned "Government Conspiracy" in one of my posts so I'm now on the FBI and CIA watch-lists. But, that is only one or two readers.

 Beyond that, I'm stumped. In the past month, I've had readers in 47 states and 58 countries. Oddly, Virginia, where you would think most of my readers come from, ranks 9th. Further checking Google Analytics, I find that I have never had a reader from Montana, North Dakota or South Dakota.

 Why? Are there no computers in those states? Have they never heard of the Internet? Do they not know what funnel cakes are? Did they all go to Florida for the winter?

 I drove from Winnipeg to Bismark, ND once and never saw a house, a tree, a telephone pole or another car. As a result. I've decided to start a campaign to erase those three  from the United States. I understand that might cause some problems, like where do we get a flag with 47 stars? What do we do with 8 million square miles of barren wasteland? What would happen to Will Rogers State Park? Will AAA print up new maps?

 My first thought was that we could give it back to the Indians. So, I conferred with some of my Native American friends and they got together a Tribal Council that met in the parking lot in front of Becky McCray's liquor store in Alva, OK. Only they decided they didn't want it.

So, I'm thinking we can sell it to Canada.  They would be glad to buy it. Could even call it Iceland.  Oh, no. There is already one of those. The Canadians could call it Southland. Turn the three states into a new Provence and promote it as the vacation and retirement capital of Canada. We could even import some palm trees, fresh oranges and lots of shuffleboard courts. The population of Canada would increase by 437 people.

A fair price for the three states: $14.27.

 My only problem with this plan is what to do with Mt. Rushmore? And I think I have an answer to that. The Canadians could engage a PR firm and open a Twitter account and advertise that Washington, Jefferson and Millard Fillmore or whoever else is on Mt Rushmore were all Hockey coaches in the early years of the NHL and it is a tribute to their service.

 I take all of this back if anyone from Southland ever reads these pages.

 Why does my sister think I have entirely too much time on my hands?

I was sorry to learn earlier tonight of the passing of Dandy Don Meredith in Sante Fe earlier today. Although a terrific quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, he was best known for his years in the booth of Monday Night Football with Frank Gifford and Mr Obnoxious of Professional Football, Howard Cossel.

 Back in my broadcasting days almost a half century ago, I spent part of one summer at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Camp in North Carolina and had the pleasure of not only meeting Don, but also interviewing him for my radio show in Logan, WV. He was a really down to earth gentleman and quite entertaining with his stories of professional football and the antics of Cossel. As a young journalist, I was star struck being around the professional atheletes, coaches and entertainers that were envolved with that camp. But with his quick wit and marvelous sense of humor,  Don was my favorite. 

May he Rest In Peace.

Three basketball games at Liberty this week, and all three were terrible. Even with the funnel cakes and fried oreos, the volume still is below par and has me looking for other opportunities for the next couple of months. So far, this week all I have is a triple header on Saturday at Liberty--two high school games and a mens game Saturday night. Hopefully, there will be some good news to report next week.

If you survey 100 people anywhere in the US, 95 of them will list funnel cakes as their favorite fair food. For years, fairs and carnivals were the only outlets for that tasty treat. That is certainly changing.

While most of the funnel cake guys still do the fair circuit, more and more of us are finding other venues for our business. I don't do fairs, but have specialized for the past 6 or 7 years in sporting events. There are many reasons for this but the most important is that I don't show up at a race or a football game and find a dozen other funnel cakes guys there vying for a share of the business. As a result, I am usually quite successful at every event I book.

Nationally, there has been a trend of chain food establishments to compete for a share of the funnel cake market as well. Most recent are Burger King, with their funnel cake sticks and Jack In The Box. Since I am not privy to sales figures on either of these companies, or on any other companies that have periodically offered funnel cakes, I have no idea of their success.

However, if the chatter on Twitter and other social media mediums are any reflection, both should be doing quite well.  In my Tweet Deck, I have a search column set up for funnel cakes so that if anyone mentions them, I get the tweet. It allows me to follow where the fairs are, the amusement parks that offer funnel cakes, etc. plus the talk of Jack In the Box and Burger King. Certainly, one indication of the success of those companies.

As a result, I am developing a marketing strategy for anyone that owns a restaurant and wants to try an item to draw in some new customers with little or no investment. If you are in the food business, let's talk. Email me at chillie@houseofalls.com.

After a week off for Thanksgiving, the Big Red crew are back at Liberty this week for three basketball games. And, I've put funnel cakes back on the menu. As you know, I tried just crepes and lemonade at Liberty to cut out my labor of using a runner to get funnel cakes from the trailer outside the arena to the stand inside. It didn't work.

Crepes, while an interesting item for the Vines Center, and a fun item for me as I put on a little show cooking them, they didn't pull well enough to sustain my lemonade sales. Funnel cakes will do much better, although, for now, I'm offering both. I also added fried oreos, an item that came out of the fair circuit a few years ago and seems to have stuck around.   Oddly, the first game with funnel cakes (women's game on Tuesday night) crepes outsold funnel cakes. That should change tonight as more of the kids realize they can get funnel cakes once again. Updates will follow.